You'll Never Be Alone
by Kairi Sapphire
Summary: Severus has always wanted Lily. She was just another thing on the list of things he could never have. Until the day James Potter falls in love with another woman, and Lily realizes who's truly loved her all along...
1. Introduction

A/N: This is my first time writing stories on here, so I have no idea how this is going to turn out. I'm a HUGE Snily shipper(:

Severus Snape was never one to keep anyone waiting. He was always perfectly on time to everything, always such a reliable man. He always had so much on his mind. Lily, her arrogant husband, Harry, _everyone._ Lily and James were perfectly happy with their one year old son, Harry Potter. He was their pride and joy. And they promised they'd be with him forever. Severus, of course, was completely heartbroken and, in his agony, joined the Death Eaters. He could still remember the night Lily had excitedly broken the news to him that she and James were to be married.

*FLASHBACK*

_Severus had been sitting in his office, calmly brewing potions, when a jet-black owl flew in the window, clutching a letter in it's talons. It flew directly over to him and he stared at it questioningly. The owl simply dropped the note onto his lap and flew away, a long screech echoing from it's beak. He opened it tentatively. It was from none other than Lily Evans, his best friend. "Come meet me. It's an emergency." He crumbled the letter up and immediately apparated to the outside of James and Lily's house in Godric's Hollow. Their yard was always so neat. Flowers lined up in neat rows, fresh green grass, an orange and white cat running around in the grass..._

_"Hey." A voice from behind Severus caused him to jump, startled. He whirled around, finding himself face-to-face with Lily. "Lily..." Was all he could say. He hadn't seen Lily since their graduation. Even though it was dark outside, he could see Lily's face glowing in happiness and excitement. Her dark red hair fell over her shoulders, and her green eyes were brighter than ever. Clearly something good had happened to her. Her voice interrupted his thoughts and- as much as he didn't want to admit it- admiration of Lily's beauty. "Severus, James and I... We're getting married!" She whispered excitedly. Severus almost dropped his wand. "W-what?" He asked, startled. Even though it was cold outside, he could feel his face burning. "You heard me, didn't you?" Her face fell slightly; she had expected him to be just as joyful as her. Severus clenched his fists. "Yes. I heard you." He said coldly. Lily blinked in surprise. "Well... aren't you excited for us?" Severus couldn't believe she had just asked that. He wanted to scream "No! No I'm not excited for you! I don't want you to marry James! I want you to marry ME!" But he didn't. He didn't say a word. Well, not for the first ten seconds, anyways. "Lily, how could you do this?" Severus asked. He realized this was the wrong to say about a second later. "How could I do what? Marry the man I love?!" She shouted. "Lily, I-" he started, but she cut him off. "You've changed so much." He said, suddenly feeling close to tears. All the memories suddenly flooded back to him, and he felt nostalgic. Severus and Lily playing out in the rain, tasting raindrops with their tongues. Chasing each other around in the park, throwing themselves down on a soft patch of grass when they got tired. Holding hands. Walking down the trails, autumn leaves falling down around them. "I've changed?! I've changed?!" She said, her eyes getting wider with anger. "You're the one that's changed, Severus! You changed completely when you joined the Death Eaters!" Her voice cracked, but she kept talking. "You've changed into a completely different person, Severus. And that hurts a lot." Tears were falling down her cheeks, but she didn't bother to wipe them away. Severus looked down in shame. "I love you, Lily. I always have, and I always will." He breathed. Lily shook her head. "It's too late for that, Severus. James and I are in love." said Lily. Her voice sounded slightly more cheerful when she said the last part. Severus bit the inside of his cheeks so hard he tasted blood. "You're.. You're really getting married?" He had a hard time believing this. "Yes, I'm really getting married." She replied indignantly, as if he had just insulted her. Severus couldn't look at her. He stared at the ground. "It's too late to tell me you love me, Sev." She said quietly, and she turned on her heel and hurried into the house. Severus heard the door shut and he put his wand back in his robes pocket. Tears were already staining his cheeks. He apparated back to his house and curled up on the couch, missing the kind of friends him and Lily used to be. _

*END OF FLASHBACK*

So, the first time he was late for one of his most important Death Eater meetings with the Dark Lord, naturally he was suspected by the Death Eaters- and by the Dark Lord. He stepped down the stone stairs into the always ice-cold room that was known as the Meeting Room.

"Severus." Voldemort hissed. "You've come." Severus nodded and silently took his seat, placing his hands on the table in front of him and staring at the Dark Lord. The rest of the meeting was just like the others: talk about killing off all the Muggles and Mudbloods. Severus wished he hadn't chosen this path. He wanted Lily all to himself. He didn't want to think about James kissing her, hugging her, whispering gently things in her ear. He just wanted to give up. He was done. There was no reason to live anymore. Suddenly he heard a knock on his front door. He groaned, not wanting to get up. He staggered towards the front door and opened it. Much to his shock, Lily was standing in front of him. They hadn't spoken since Lily revealed that she was getting married. Severus crossed his arms and fixed her with an icy glare. It was snowing hard outside, and Lily's hair was coated in white snowflakes. She was shivering, although Severus could tell she was trying not to. "Sev? C-c-could I c-come in?" Her teeth were chattering, causing her to stutter. "You know I wouldn't leave you out in the cold." said Severus, taking her arm and leading her into the warm house. She sighed in relief and sat down on the couch. Her hair was wet, due to the melted snow. Severus muttered a drying spell and her hair was instantly dry. She gave him a grateful smile and crossed her arms. "Sev, we need to talk." Severus nodded. "I know." She sighed heavily. "Severus, I know we haven't spoken in months, and I know you're probably angry with me, and I _know_ I'm a terrible friend." Severus shook his head vigorously. "I'm not angry with you. But _you_ have every right to be angry with _me. _And I don't think you're terrible. You're my best friend." He said soothingly. All of a sudden, Lily reached out and grabbed his hands, rubbing them with her fingers. Severus was surprised at her sudden display of affection, but of course, he didn't mind. "Severus, I'm sorry, okay? That's what I came here to tell you. I just had to make sure you knew." Lily burst out, wiping a tear from her cheek. She got up, intending on walking away in humiliation, but Severus grabbed her arm, stopping her. "Don't apologize! I'm the one that has something to apologize for. This is all my fault. My fault our friendship is ruined." Severus watched her carefully. Her ordinarily bright green eyes were now dim and sad. "I miss you." Severus said, looking directly in her eyes. "I know. I miss you, too. But... there's just no room in my life for a Death Eater, and anyways, James would go insane if he found out I was still talking to you." Lily said, taking a deep breath. Those words stabbed at Severus' heart. There was no room in her life for him?

"I love you!" Severus burst out suddenly, then wished he hadn't. Lily had enough things on her mind right now, she surely didn't need to worry about two people loving her at the same time. She had James, and she didn't need Severus. Well, that's what _she _thought. "Severus, we've already been through this." She sighed, exhausted. "I love James. My love for you is that of a friend, not a lover." Severus could practically _hear_ his heart shattering. Lily stretched out on the velvet couch and laid her head down on her hands. "Severus, I'm sorry." Lily knew how much she was hurting him, but really, what could she do? Lily couldn't choose who she fell in love with, and Severus knew that. He knew it, but he didn't understand it. Every night, Severus laid down on his bed with the thought "Why can't she just love me? What does she see in Potter?" But he could never find an answer for that question, because there was no explanation for it. She wasn't his. She never would be. Until the day James Potter fell in love with someone else.

A/N: This is not the end of the story! I can't stand writing one-shots, although I do some of the time. . I will update soon, but for now there's only an intro. :)


	2. Chapter One

A/N: However much it may seem like it, this is not a Limes fanfiction. (Limes = Lily/James) I'm a huge Snily shipper, I'd never do that.

"Lils, come here. You've barely said two words to me all day." James said from a few seats away from her. "James. You know I've been busy with my Healer training!" Lily protested. James was forever trying to get Lily to snuggle with him. It's not that she didn't want to, of course not, it was just that... Lily needed _space_. She didn't want James always hanging on to her. She loved James, but as much as she didn't want to admit it, he could sometimes be really clingy and annoying. "I love you, James." said Lily, closing her Healing book. She was training to be a Healer, since the Auror positions were all taken, and they hadn't recruited new Aurors in about six months. She and James were in the Order of The Phoenix, Dumbledore's super secret army, planning on overthrowing Lord Voldemort. James got up and walked over to Lily, sitting down and wrapping his arms around her. "I love you too, Lils." Lily leaned against his chest and listened to the sound of his soft breathing. "I love you so much." She repeated. "More than anything in this world." James held her tighter, kissing the top of her head and stroking her thick, red hair.

Severus leaned back against his maroon armchair, looking at the ceiling and closing his eyes. "Master Severus, is there anything Brielle can get you?" squeaked Brielle, a tiny house elf that Severus had found in the woods one day. He had taken her in, in exchange for her being a servant. Brielle blinked. "No. Go away." Severus commanded. Severus didn't mean to be so rude. He was just in a bad mood at the moment. "Brielle will leave Master Severus alone. Master Severus does not wish to be disturbed." And with that, Brielle jumped up and scurried out of the room. It was true, Severus didn't wish to be disturbed. And unless Brielle could bring him Lily, he did not want anything. "I love you, Lily." Severus said. To nothing.

Brielle took her master's words deeply to heart. He had told Brielle to go away, so she scurried right out of the house and went on to James and Lily's house. She bounced right through their front door, to find Lily and James sitting on a chair, cuddling with each other. "Hello, James. Hello Lily." Brielle greeted them, sweeping into a low bow. James stared at Brielle questioningly. "Aren't you Snape's house elf?" he asked, puzzled. "Yes, she is, and I'd prefer you not to call him _Snape,_ James." Lily said heatedly. "Why d'you care, Lily? I thought you hated him? For calling you the "M" word?" James inquired. "Don't remind me, James!" Lily said, now sounding angry. She moved away from James, untangling herself from his arms. "I don't hate him. He's my best friend." James looked angry. "Okay, Lily. Why do you keep saying things like that? You always say that you don't hate him, because supposedly he's your "best friend," but he called you a Mud... a Mud..." James couldn't bring himself to say that awful word. "That's not the point! We were _fifteen_, James!" Lily said fiercely.

"Well, it was a stupid thing to do." James declared after a moment. Lily looked exasperated. "You and Siri did a lot of stupid things when you were that age, too." She said, calling Sirius by his nickname given to him by Lily, "Siri." James looked earnest. "I'm sorry, Lily." he said. Lily scoffed and crossed her arms.

"Brielle is so sorry, Lily! Brielle didn't mean to cause an argument between you and your husband!" Brielle cried, throwing her hands in the air guiltily. "It's okay, Brielle. You didn't mean any harm. And he's not my husband, not yet. Our wedding isn't for three weeks. Now, what did you come here for?" Lily asked gently. James had stormed out of the room in frustration that his girlfriend was defending Snape. "Brielle came to explain to you how broken Master Severus is, ever since you told him something that he apparently did not want to hear a few months back. No, Master Severus has not been able to do anything really, and he is very grumpy towards Brielle as well. Brielle wants to know what you told Master Severus that hurt him so badly!" Brielle stated, crossing her arms fiercely. Lily giggled at the house elf's confidence. "Okay, I'll tell you. Well, you see, I called upon Severus to tell him the good news I had, that James and I are getting married." She held her hand out, admiring the diamond engagement ring in the light. "And he got really upset, which is _not_ how I expected him to react. Sev told me he loved me, but I told him that my heart belongs to James, which is true, and then... I walked back inside the house, unable to take anymore. Yesterday I went to his house, and we talked for a while, but I know he's still upset." Lily sighed, burying her face in her hands. "And I'm afraid.. I'm afraid that after James and I get married, Severus won't speak to me anymore. I'm already losing my best friend." She sniffed and blinked a few times to keep from crying. "Oh my, Brielle did not know of Master Severus' heartbreak, Brielle had no idea! Brielle will do everything she can to cheer Master Severus up, but she does not know if he will listen, no, no." cried Brielle. "It's okay, Brielle. I need to speak to Severus. I know I have already, but he's apparently very depressed." said Lily. Brielle nodded vigorously. "Yes! You know what Brielle means when she says that Master Severus hasn't been able to do anything productive with his life except for those... er... what are they called? Death... Death..." Brielle struggled to remember the name. "Death Eaters?" Lily said. "Yes! Death Eaters! His meetings are all he really cares about nowadays." Brielle sighed. "Is there any way to fix Master Severus?" Lily smiled. "Well, I don't know if we can _fix _him, but there may be a way to make Severus feel better." "Yes! Brielle thanks you so much, Lily!" Brielle bowed to the ground. Lily giggled again. "Well, Brielle, you'd better be on your way now. Won't Severus be wondering where you are? How did you get permission to come here anyway?" Lily questioned. Brielle's face lit up. "Oh, Master told Brielle to go away, so Brielle did just that! She went away... to _your_ house!" Brielle looked fairly proud of herself. "Well, I suppose that makes sense, but..." Lily said faintly. Brielle got the message that Lily wanted to be alone, and she waved farewell and wobbled out of the house. Lily watched Brielle run all the way down the yard, apparating. Lily closed the curtains and walked into her and James' room, where she found James sitting against the wall, sulking. "James." she breathed. James didn't look up. "James, please talk to me!" James got up, walked past her, strode out the front door, and apparated somewhere. "James!" Lily called, though he was already gone. She collapsed on the bed and, after hours of crying, fell asleep. What she didn't know is that Severus had just cried himself to sleep, too. Lily jolted awake at three o'clock in the morning for no reason and saw that James was not there. "James?" she called. No response. She climbed out of bed and, in a panic attack, apparated to Severus' house. She found him laying on his bed, asleep. "Severus!" she said frantically, worrying about her soon-to-be husband, James. Severus woke immediately, and stared at Lily, worried. "Lily? What's wrong?" he asked, alarmed. "James is gone!" she said, wiping tears from her face. "We got into a silly argument about... James... when he was younger. And then he got all upset and left, and then...!" Lily couldn't finish her sentence. Severus held his arms out. "Come here." Lily walked over to him and she laid down next to him. He wrapped his arms around her and she listened to his heartbeat in silence. Suddenly she felt a piercing pain in her forehead. "Headache." she said unhappily. Severus rubbed her forehead. He pulled out his wand and muttered a Healing spell, and her head was instantly better, but it felt tingly still. "You're a good friend, Severus." Lily said fondly. Severus smiled and kissed her forehead. Lily felt bad for being with Severus, but he was just a friend. James just didn't understand that. He was probably wondering if he could forgive Lily and maybe even crying. He was, no doubt, unhappy. But what Lily didn't know was that James wasn't crying. He wasn't unhappy at all. What Lily didn't know was that James was with another woman, perfectly happy and in love with Sarilee Heron.

James Potter didn't mean to have that argument with Lily. But really, all he had done was call Severus by his last name! He decided, for revenge, to go to the woman that James had secretly been dating for seven months. Her name was Sarilee, and James loved her more than anything, including Lily. As much as he felt bad about it, he and Sarilee were meant to be. And as soon as he could, he'd break up with Lily and marry Sarilee. They belonged together. Lily was still planning their wedding, but James only half-heartedly helped her plan. Because he knew there would be no wedding. Sarilee Heron was a very pretty woman. She had long, wavy black hair and the brightest blue eyes he had ever seen. She had pale skin, full lips, naturally coal-black eyelashes, and a thin figure. And Sarilee loved James just as much as James loved her. They had already planned their wedding without Lily's knowing. James felt bad, he truly did, but Sarilee was his love. And James couldn't change that.

Severus and Lily fell asleep like that, with her snuggled against his chest, breathing softly. Neither of them had any nightmares, and Lily felt a lot more safe than she had when she was with James. She felt more secure with Severus, because she knew he would do anything to protect her, and Lily knew that he loved her with all his heart. James, however, would probably try to save himself before he saved Lily, however much he loved her. This, of course, was before she found out about Sarilee, so Lily knew she wouldn't feel guilty for long... Brielle had wobbled into the room and sat herself down on a chair, watching Severus and Lily sleeping together. Brielle knew Severus loved Lily, but she didn't know Lily loved Severus. She wondered if Lily still had feelings for James. Brielle was the only one that knew about Sarilee, and James had made her swear not to say anything to anyone. But James was not Brielle's master. So she could disobey him and tell everyone if she wanted to.

A/N: Do you think Brielle will tell Lily about Sarilee? Review please! xo


	3. Chapter Two

DIsclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. If I did, I would not be wasting my time on . Just sayin'.

A/N: And by the way, the whole story so far is a flashback. Because notice how at the beginning, Snape mentions James being Lily's husband... and obviously the story takes place before they got married.

"Lily. Lily, wake up." Severus tapped Lily's shoulder and she shuffled.

"Hmm?" she mumbled.

"It's ten o'clock. Time to get up." He said. Lily smiled at his orders.

"Come _on,_ Severus. Ten isn't late. Go back to sleep."

Severus sighed deeply. He usually got up around nine or ten. "Okay." He climbed back into bed and laid down next to her. Lily smiled, knowing she had gotten her way. Her eyes fluttered shut and she soon found herself drifting off... Lily's dreams were a blur that morning. James wove in and out of each dream, holding hands with a strange woman she had never seen. What she didn't know is that two weeks later, she would find out who that woman really was.

"James, I know you like to sleep till dinnertime, but you have to get up now! It's two o'clock!" Sarilee laughed, smacking James playfully with a fluffy white pillow.

"Okay, okay! I'm up!" James sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Sarilee was in the bathroom fixing her long hair, and James watched her, amused. He felt bad for being with Sarilee right now, but quickly shook the thought off; 'she's probably with _Snivellus_,' thought James.

"James! C'mere! I need your help with something!" Sarilee mock-pouted, stamping her foot. James quickly hurried over to her, as he did whenever she needed something. James basically spoiled Sarilee; she got everything she wanted when she wanted it. Sarilee didn't know any better: she had grown up in a wealthy, pureblood family with no siblings, so getting her way was natural for Sarilee.

"What do you need, Sari?" asked James, leaning against the wall. Sarilee looked up at him. She was rather short, shorter than Lily. Sarilee tucked her long hair behind her ears and held up two bottles of makeup.

"So, which looks better on me? Pink," she held out the pink bottle. "Or purple?" she handed him the purple bottle. James took the bottles gingerly.

"Er... What're these supposed to be, exactly?" James eyed the bottles carefully.

"It's eyeshadow, silly!" She pointed to the purple bottle. "I think that one compliments my eyes better."

James watched her carefully. "You don't need makeup." he said slowly. "You're beautiful as you are."

"Oh, how sweet!" Sarilee grabbed his face and kissed both of his cheeks. Sarilee was French, and that was her natural way of thanking people. "I love you, James."

"I love you, too!" He said automatically. Sarilee and James both knew their feelings for each other were true love. She grabbed the makeup bottles out of his hands, setting the pink one on the white marble countertop of carefully applying the purple eyeshadow, with her face very close to the mirror.

"Do you really think Muggle makeup is necessary?" asked James, walking over to her.

"This isn't Muggle makeup, James-y! _This_ is Witch makeup. Completely different. It stays on longer and it charms males." Sarilee snorted. James felt a pang of jealousy when she said 'attracts males.' "I can't believe you think I'd use a product created by filthy Muggles!"

James gasped slightly, but tried to play it off by coughing. "Is there a problem, James?" Sarilee knit her eyebrows together and pursed her red lips.

"Of course not, no." James said quickly. "Good." Sarilee dropped the eyeshadow in her purple plaid makeup bag and it magically sealed itself shut. She fluttered her eyelashes and wiped some black mascara off her eye. James was a bit shocked, but he knew that Sarilee cared about her blood-type. Sarilee was very... hard to describe. She definitely cared about blood-types, she was French, a bit stuck-up, pretty, stubborn, she was Sarilee Heron soon-to-be-Potter, and she loved him with all her heart. Sometimes Sarilee could be a bit bratty, yes, but she was the most beautiful, amazing woman James had ever met in his life. So why did he feel so bad when he was with her? Why did he get a horrible sinking feeling in his chest when Sarilee snuggled close to him? Why did he imagine what would happen if Lily found out? The only explanation he could think of was that he was in love with Lily, too. Obviously he loved Sarilee much more, but Lily was special to him. He had spent all his school years chasing after her, showing off in front of her, waiting for her to _finally_ say yes. And when she did, he dropped her. Just like that. Dropped her for another woman. Now, Severus, James, and Lily had just graduated from Hogwarts. They were between the ages of nineteen and twenty. Sarilee had just graduated from Beauxbatons. She was eighteen years old. Sometimes Sarilee could be a bit immature. But James loved her nonetheless.

Severus leaned back in his armchair, staring at the book he was holding. Although his attention was more focused on Lily than on the book. Lily approached him and sat down. She looked nervous.

"Sev?" she asked tentatively.

"Hmmm?" he mumbled.

"Sev, I have something to tell you. Something... important." she whispered. Severus looked up from his book at her. He was worried, she could tell. He got up and walked over to her.

"Lily, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly. Lily smiled half-heartedly.

"Sevvie," she started. Severus cringed. He hated when anyone called him 'Sevvie.' But what Lily was about to say was sure to make him forget about any kind of nickname trouble.

"Sevvie, I think I'm pregnant." she whispered, terrified. Severus froze. Had he heard her correctly?

"What do you mean...?" he asked, completely shocked.

"I know what you're thinking, Sev. You're not losing your hearing. You heard that correctly. I'm pregnant." Lily said slowly, measuring every word.

"Hm.. Let me guess. It's Potter's...?" he asked gingerly.

"No." Lily shook her head and Severus' heart almost jumped out of his chest. "It's yours. And mine."

"Er, Lily, could I have a moment?" asked Severus. Lily's shoulders slumped; he was clearly upset.

"Of course." Lily whispered, on the verge of tears. Severus walked into his bedroom and put his hands over his face. So many things were running through his mind. What about Potter? What if the Dark Lord decided to use Legilimency on him, and then read his mind? The Dark Lord was sure to punish him severely; Muggle-born marriage or association with Muggles was a _huge_ deal in the Wizarding World. Well, for some people it was. Severus honestly didn't give a damn about blood-types or any Muggle discrimination. But to his inner-circle- the Death Eaters- it was the biggest deal. Bellatrix would go crazy. Lucius, also. He would be punished. That is, if the Dark Lord found out. Now, Severus was very skilled at Occlumency, so maybe...

"Severus?" Lily leaned against the wall. Her voice was shaky with tears. Severus turned towards her, and his heart splintered. She looked horrified. And scared. Severus knew she was just as worried about this as he was. He leaned his head against her shoulder affectionately and gently kissed her forehead.

"We'll get through this. I promise." He kissed the top of her head and put his hands on her shoulders, moving his lips to hers.

But Severus didn't know if he could keep that promise.

A/N: What did you think? Sorry, I know it's short. But I have homework and all that crap, so I had to cut it off. The next chapter will basically be part-two of this one! :D


	4. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!

A/N: There's been some confusion about this story, but the baby is not Harry. This is before he's born.

Lily laid her head back and closed her eyes. Names were running through her mind. Kaitlynn. Emerson. Autumn. Laurel. Kylee. Talia. Annabelle. Liana. Isabelle. Austin. Oliver. Michael. Landon. Was the baby a boy or a girl?

Lily had been carefully avoiding Severus all week. She was a bit upset at his reaction to her pregnancy, but she couldn't blame him. He was stressing out about the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters. He was a double agent, as if he didn't have enough to deal with at the moment. He didn't need Lily's pregnancy to worry about. Besides, she was starting to worry about James. He'd been acting really strange lately. Lily spotted him on the soft green armchair and sat next to him.

"James," said Lily, causing James to jump. "We need to talk."

James regained his composure. "Sorry. What?"

"James, you've been acting really... I don't know. Different, I guess. I'm worried about you." said Lily gently. She had to tell James that the baby was his. Otherwise, James would tell everyone that Severus and Lily were together, and then Voldemort would find out...

"I'm sorry." He apologized again.

Lily looked at the ground. "James, I'm pregnant." She felt James shudder from next to her.

He looked pleased. "Really? That's great! Is it a boy or a girl?" James asked excitedly. His face fell slightly. "Wait a minute. It _is_ mine, isn't it?"

Lily smiled at his eagerness, but felt an awful feeling in the pit of her stomach. What would happen when James found out it wasn't his? He would be crushed. Chills ran through her spine at the very thought of it. "Yes." She lied. "It is yours."

Lily felt uneasy, but what she didn't know is that James felt just as terrible. Sarilee was running through his mind. Sarilee, Sarilee, Sarilee. She would be completely heartbroken when she found out. James had to find a way to fix this. Lily didn't know that most of James' excitement and enthusiasm about the baby was fake.

"I love you, Lily," said James. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lily shifted uncomfortably. She needed to see Severus, now. Lily loved James, she really did. But Severus needed her and she needed him. James would have to wait.

"James, listen. I really have to go." She cringed, waiting for his hurt reaction. But he wasn't hurt. He looked almost indifferent. James shrugged. "Fine." So Lily walked out the door and apparated to her love's house. James felt bad, sure, but this meant he could spend more time with Sarilee. And Sirius was expecting them to come over, also. How perfect: Sari and Siri meeting for the first time. Sirius was ecstatic when James told him about Sarilee. Remus, on the other hand, was beyond furious. "How could you do this to Lily? How?!" He had yelled. Ah, well.

James and Sarilee. James and Lily. Sarilee Potter. Lily Potter. Which sounded better? James wondered. Sarilee, he decided. Sarilee was much more important to him.

Sirius pounded on the front door. "James, mate! Open up!"

He jumped up to answer it. Sirius had a huge grin on his face. "Oi, Sirius. How are you?"

"Lily's a bit upset with me. You know, for not spending enough time with her." James said sadly, resting on the grande big couch.

"Ah, she'll get over it, mate." Said Sirius. He was the only one that one-hundred percent agreed with James and Sarilee. Remus still thought he should be with Lily, and Severus... Well, Severus wanted Lily all for himself.

"Severus!" Lily said, walking through his front door and finding himself deeply immersed in his books. He looked startled.

"Yes, my love?"

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I've been avoiding you. Surely you've noticed." Lily looked down.

Severus looked sideways, then at Lily. "Yes, I have." He said bitterly. Lily felt horrible.

"I'm so sorry." She said again, grabbing his arm and pulling him closer to her. "We need to talk, Sev." Severus kissed her repeatedly. He rubbed her stomach. Lily wasn't showing any physical signs of pregnancy yet, although she had been acting very sensitive lately. Lily shuddered, chills running down her body.

"I... um.. I.. I told James that the baby was his." she stammered. Lily felt Severus tighten his grip on her. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Lily, why are you apologizing? I understand. But I will _not_ allow James Potter to take my child away from me-" he started angrily, clenching his fists. Lily silenced him with her finger.

"He won't. I promise." Lily pulled him to her face, pushing her lips against his.

Lily shivered. "It's cold in here." she complained. Severus bit her bottom lip gently and sucked on it, which made Lily forget all about the cold. He kissed her stomach, then moved back up to her lips. Severus leaned down until they were both laying down on the bed, and Lily closed her eyes, sighing.

"Are you cold?" He asked softly. Lily nodded her head, unable to speak. He pulled a warm blanket over her and put a Warming charm on it, to make the blanket stay heated. Severus rested his head on her shoulder and closed his eyes.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"How much?"

"More than my life." Severus kissed her forehead.

"You mean... everything to me."

Those words drifted through Lily's mind. She allowed his heartbeat to calm her to sleep.

Severus watched her sleep, stroking her hair. Soon, he too was asleep.

James kissed Sarilee's forehead over and over, pushing her against the bed.

"James, promise me you won't be with that Mudblood girl forever." Sarilee groaned in her heavy French accent. James cringed at the name, but held on to her nevertheless.

"I promise I'll never go back to that... to that... Mudblood girl." He whispered. The word "Mudblood" barely escaped his lips, and he looked extremely ashamed afterwards. How could James say that about the girl he'd been chasing after his entire school years?

Sarilee smiled, smug. "I love you, Jamsies."

"I love you too, Sari."

Sarilee rolled over next to him and was asleep within a matter of seconds.


	5. Chapter Four

A/N: I have no idea what the baby's name should be. Ah, well.. By the way, Leila is pronounced "Lee-i-la"

"Jamesie-kins!" Sarilee squealed, throwing herself onto James and kissing his lips rapidly. They hadn't seen each other in almost two weeks- which almost killed Sarilee. She had traveled to France to visit some family, and being without James was emotionally killing her. So, of course, the first thing she'd do was show James all her love- although she hadn't even unpacked yet.

"I missed you so MUCH!" she said again loudly. James smirked. Lily was never this loud, but he liked it. Lily was always so quiet, never one to talk. She'd rather keep to herself than get caught up in all the chaos that's life.

"So, Sari, how was Frrrance?" James asked, rolling his 'r.'

Sarilee giggled giddily. "It was fantastic! But I was going absolutely _mad_ missing you! Je t'aime tellement, ma chérie." she kissed him, her long black ponytail swinging over her shoulder.

James mock-groaned. "Sari, you know I don't speak French!"

She giggled. "Ah, it means, how you say... I love you, darling."

He smiled. "I love you more." He poked her stomach and she squirmed. Sarilee was super ticklish. So he began tickling her.

"Arrêter, stop, stop!" She fell back onto the bed, giggling. James looked around at her. Out of the corner of his eye, he could've sworn he saw Brielle, Snape's House Elf, staring back at him, and she was gone in an instant. James shook the thought out of his head; he was probably just seeing things. "

"Now.. where was I?"

Severus put a finger on his chin, thinking about what type of mineral went next in his potion.

"Hmm..." he mumbled. Suddenly there was a loud _THUD_ coming from downstairs, causing him to jump and spill half his potion. "Damn it!" Severus muttered angrily. He rushed down to see what had happened, and found Brielle lying on the floor, looking quite dazed. Severus rolled his eyes: Brielle was the clumsiest House Elf he had ever met.

"Brielle! What the _hell_ are you doing?" he demanded. Brielle looked nervous. She covered her mouth with her hands.

"Oh, Master Severus, it was terrible! Brielle... Brielle went to James Potter and Lily Evans' house and Brielle saw... Brielle saw..." Brielle stuttered, talking way too fast. Severus could barely understand her.

"Brielle, what's the matter? Talk slower, I didn't understand a word you just said."

"James..." Brielle panted. "Is with.. a.. woman. Besides Lily!" Severus dropped the remainings of his potion. His heart thumped. Could it be true?

"Brielle," Severus said slowly. "How long have you known about this?"

Brielle stopped cold. "Brielle has known about this for... almost a week." she admitted softly, her head bowed down in shame. Severus sighed and studied Brielle carefully.

The tiny House Elf noticed the shocked look on Severus' face. "What's wrong, Master? Brielle thought you wanted Lily Evans for yourself. She's all yours now! Master Severus should be happy!"

"When Lily finds out, though, she'll be terribly depressed. She won't want to speak to anyone." Severus muttered. "Brielle, I absolutely forbid you to tell Lily about this. Now, this woman you speak of. Describe her to me."

"She has long black hair, very bright blue eyes, and Brielle heard her speaking a language. French, perhaps? And Brielle also heard James Potter mention the name 'Sarilee.'" Brielle said eagerly. Brielle loved all kinds of drama. She liked to watch people fight. While most people hated it, drama was Brielle's source of amusement. _Great,_ thought Severus. _Potter's gone and hooked up with some French snob._ Severus was worried about Lily finding out. He loved her more than anything, and Severus didn't think he could stand it if Lily was heartbroken. Then perhaps she wouldn't even want to speak to him.

Lily sat back against the Owl Post, waiting in line to send her owl. Around this part of town, the owls had to be sent in one Post, sort of like a Muggle Post Office. She was sending a letter to her parents, who would surely understand the use of owls.

This tiny town was packed with Witches and Wizards. She wondered what James was doing. Her heart swelled at the thought of him. James had spent so much time away from her.. and then there was Severus. Severus, who loved her more than he loved himself. Who promised he would protect her with his life. And then the baby. She had chosen Laurel if it was a girl and Jason for a boy. Or maybe Oliver. Or Toby. Lily was even sure if Laurel was the best choice for a girl. Maybe she should choose Leila? Or Avalon? Skylar? It was all so much. And Lily didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl. The thing about Witch pregnancy is that you find out a _lot_ sooner what gender the baby is. But it still takes time which is why Lily was pacing back and forth, names flying around in her mind.

Sarilee rested her head next to James and sighed. She pulled a heavy blanket over her bare body and stared at James. He beamed.

"Ah, my hair is most horrible!" exclaimed Sarilee uber-dramatically. She ran her fingers down her tangled, oily hair. "I need a shower, how you say, ASAP!"

James chuckled. "C'mon, your hair's not that bad." He examined her hair. "Well... maybe it is," he teased. Sarilee rolled her eyes and pulled her hair back into a messy bun.

"How is it that you have black hair, anyway? Don't French people have blonde hair?" questioned James.

"No, no, no, you've got it all wrong." Sarilee said, stepping out of bed and putting clothes on. "French have dark hair. You're thinking of the Northern European folk, like Germany, Norway, and Sweden. _They_ have, for the most part, blonde hair."

James ruffled his hair and laid back. "Oh well.. same difference."

Sarilee giggled and flashed him a radiant smile.

"Hey," said James, "the other night.. last night, I mean... I could've sworn I saw a House Elf watching us. Brielle, I think."

Sarilee bit her lip. "Oh no! _Petit ami, _sweetheart, no one can know about our, how would you say, secret romance!"

Sarilee didn't know about Lily, but she knew about Severus, and she worried that he would tell the Minister of Magic. Sarilee didn't prove to be very bright sometimes. Severus and Sarilee had known each other for a while, and Sarilee thought Severus was, as she would say, immoral.

"I don't know, I just thought I saw it, that's all!" James said, trying to calm a distressed Sarilee down.

_This is bad,_ he thought. _This is very bad. _

"Severus, put down your books and come lie down. You've been working way too hard." Lily sighed. Severus looked around at her.

"I can't, Lily." he said gently.

"Why not? You're too hard on yourself sometimes."

Severus sighed deeply. He put his book down, got up, and grabbed Lily's hand.

"Come on, Lily." He walked upstairs and laid down next to her.

Lily leaned back against his chest. "Close your eyes." he said softly. Lily shut her eyes drowsily. He kissed her lips softly and rested his head on her shoulder.

Lily felt herself getting more and more sleepy, and soon she felt herself drifting off into a deep sleep...

A/N: I know its short and probably not that good. And I haven't updated in a while. Review and let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter Five

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or any of this story's characters, except for Sarilee. **

**Concerning the storyline: At the beginning of this story, it mentions Harry. This story takes place before Harry is born. Which means that everything you see after Severus's flashback _is _a flashback. I know it sounds confusing; this whole story is is a flashback except for that part at the beginning that mentions Harry. Get it? Got it? Good. Please review!**

"It eez okay, James! Do stop panicking!" said Sarilee fretfully.  
"No, Sarilee, it's not okay! Lily . . .what if Snape's House-elf went and told him about . . . you?" said James, wringing his wrists and looking down at his fiancée.

"Eef you really loved me," said Sarilee," you would not care what that Evans girl theenks."  
James stared hopelessly at his girlfriend. "I'm sorry, Sari. So sorry."  
Before she could respond, James grabbed his cloak and made his way towards the door.

"JAMES! Where are you going? I thought that you loved me. I thought that—"  
"I _do_ love you, Sari. But I need Lily right now." _That is, if she isn't with Snape,_ thought James.

"Whatever. I knew eet. I knew that you loved 'er more than you love me. I knew it," Sarilee said angrily, tossing her hair and stalking out of the room.  
James sighed; his hair was sticking up in every direction, his eyes almost certainly had bags under them, his face was greasy; he had none of his usual James-charm. This was going to be a long, tedious week.

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"Please speak to me, Lily," Severus pleaded hopelessly with his best friend of ten years.

"Severus, I really am sorry, but I need James right now."

"Why? What good is James Potter? He's an arrogant, cheating—"

"_Cheating_? Please enlighten me, Sev, I have no idea what you're talking about," said Lily loftily, crossing her thin arms over her chest.

"I-I just . . ." Severus scrambled to find the right words; Lily still did not know about Sarilee, and Severus had no intention of telling her. "I don't know, Lily. Please, just stay away from Potter."

"And what right do _you_ have to tell me what to do, Severus?" Lily snapped; her face contorted with rage. Severus backtracked.

"I'm sorry—I don't have any choice, you're right, I just—"

"Please, Severus. I can't take this anymore." Without another word, Lily swept out of the room, leaving Severus gaping after her.

Lily ran, giving no thought to where she was going. She knew that she needed to see James, and yet—there was something stopping her. She knew it was wrong to shun Severus like she had done; he was the only one that had been there for her when she needed someone the most. It was just that she had a sneaking suspicion that he knew something she didn't—some sort of secret. _Maybe he is keeping a secret from you, because you've been in a right state lately,_ chided a voice in her head. _Maybe he's planning on leaving you._

_Planning on leaving you._ That voice, those words; they haunted her. Maybe he really was going to leave her, and he was just waiting for the right time . . .

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"James."

"Lily."

Lily found herself standing face-to-face with her husband, James Potter. By the looks of him, Lily knew that there was something wrong; his normally well-kept hair was oily, and it looked longer than ever; his eyes were sunken and dull, and his skin was waxy.

"Is there something wrong, dear?" Lily asked nervously, not wanting to sound too pushy.

"No." James's voice was hollow and shaky. Lily noticed that he frequently dug his fingers into his palms.

Lily knew that she had chosen the wrong time to speak to James.

"It's okay, Lils," James added, eyeing his wife wearily. Lily blinked and stepped back, deciding that she had better leave; James was looking more stressed than ever, and annoying wasn't the best thing to do at a time like this.

But, as always, her curiosity won over, and she stepped forward.

"James, do you need to talk?" she asked quietly, brushing her long, vivid red hair behind her shoulders.

"Lily, there's something you should know," James whispered, chewing his lip fearfully.

"James? I know there's something wrong. Please speak to me. I can help you, sweetheart. You know that I will always be here for you. _Always._"

_What was I thinking?_ James thought. _I can't tell her! That is the equivalent of suicide!_

"Actually, Lils . . . I can't. I'm so, so sorry. But I can't tell you. I need to be on my own for a while, okay? I'm not breaking up with you!" James said hastily, shoving his sweaty hands behind his back, so Lily wouldn't see them sweating.

"Wh-what?" Lily breathed, blinking back tears. "James, my love, I can help you! I can!"

"No, Lily, you can't. Listen, I'll be staying at Sirius's house for a few days, all right? I just need to sort things out a bit."

"Okay . . ." Lily buried her face in her hands, sobbing.

Without attempting to comfort his wife, James stalked out of the wooden front door and Apparated; not to Sirius's house, but to Sarilee's.

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"Is there anything Brielle can do for you, Master Severus?" asked Brielle anxiously, positively bouncing with excitement.

"No, you cannot," Severus whispered, not looking at his overly excited House elf.

"All right, then, Master. Brielle will go now. Brielle will go wallow and drown in her own misery just as Master is doing—"

"Brielle!" Severus scolded sharply. Brielle flinched and backed out of the room dramatically. Severus, already in a bad mood, rolled his eyes.

It had been such a stressful day, beginning with Lily's rude departing. _Why can't she see that I love her with all my heart? It's _my _child she's pregnant with. Mine._

But it didn't matter now. Lily had obviously chosen Potter, and if this was how she chose to be, then so be it. But Severus needed her more than anything at this moment. And, of course, just when you something more than ever, it disappears. Surely she didn't still love Potter, when Severus was then one that had been there for her ever since she was ten years old; the one that had helped her when she was in need of something, comforted her when she was distressed.

Severus didn't get it. He was hurt, confused, and overwrought with anxiety over Lily.

_I need someone,_ he whispered to himself. _More than I ever have before._

_._

_._

_._

_._

"Sari," James said wearily, leaning against the doorframe. "I'm so sorry, my love. I don't need Lily; I need you."

This, apparently, was all that Sarilee needed to hear. She flung herself off her cream-coulored chaise longue and into James's slightly outstretched arms.

"I'm sorry," James repeated; determined to make Sarilee see how sorrowful he was.

"I forgive you, my love, just please never leave me again," Sarilee whispered dramatically. If he weren't in such a bad situation, James would have rolled his eyes. Sarilee was immensely forgiving.

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_Stop crying. Stop, _whispered a voice in Lily's head.

Two hours had floated past, and Lily found herself unable to calm down; James had left her. Severus had unwillingly left her. _To be fair, _chided the voice, _you left Severus.  
_A blatant _CRACK_ outside of her door causes Lily to jump and whip out her wand with a flourish; she was never wholly safe these days.

She took tentative steps towards the front door and peered through the keyhole. Much to Lily's surprise, it was none other than Severus Snape. _What's he doing here? He hates me!_

"Uh, I believe we need to talk," Severus said timidly once she had opened the cherry-wood door

"Yes," said Lily dimly. Deep down, she knew this was entirely her fault, but this did not stop her from feeling certain resentment towards Severus. She had had a perfect, cozy life with James, and Severus had come in and made Lily fall for him—_No, _said the voice. _It's not his fault. It is ultimately yours. He did not _make _you fall in love with him; you did that on your own account. _

But how was Lily supposed to know that Severus would be jumping in her life so soon? She had thought, for sure, that she would never be seeing him again after that dreadful day in her fifth year at Hogwarts, and yet, here he was. His expression was pleading and he looked the equivalent of a lost puppy.

"Lily? Are you all right?" Severus asked tentatively.

She seemed to snap out of her thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I-I just—never mind." Her voice was shaky and lower than usual.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Yes, of course!" said Lily, silently scolding herself for her lack of manners.

He stepped in, wearing an expression of sheer discomfort.

"I'm so sorry," Lily whispered shakily; her voice contained an air of indubitable remorse.

"It's fine, Lils, really," said Severus quickly.

"No, it's not," said Lily repentantly.

Before she could say another word, Severus pulled her close and brought his lips to hers, and Lily could affirm that it was the most absolutely perfect moment in her life.

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A/N: I know I haven't updated in a while, and I feel über-horrible.  
Anyway, based off of my writing, how old would you say I was?


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